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Thread: Slowing Parents Down

  1. #1
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    Default Slowing Parents Down

    Guys I know I have been awall on here lately but been very busy. But I have a big question/need some advice. To make a long story short my Dad had a heart attack a few weeks ago. My Dad is a healthy non drinking, non smokeing active 73 year old. He is VERY old school when it comes to doctors , medicine and work.( I guess some of it has to do with lots of my family members living til 90+ years old). I am getting that way also HA HA. Heck he was out working a few days after his heart attack but How do I get my Dad to listen to what they have to say and follow there suggestions????
    2010 VAO March Madness Overall Winner



  2. #2
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    Good luck w/ this one, Leewood. I lived w/ this very issue w/ my father. Only advice I cab give you is to be persistent. Having heart issues is no crime and it's not a failure. For some of us it's all a matter of genetix. recommend stressing the importance of his presence - to the family, to friends - as a means of opening his eyes to doing the kinds of things that'll help him enjoy more years. It took a while but this was the message that finally got thru to my old man.

  3. #3
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    Keep in mind that your dad, like many of us, have known someone who retired and was dead a year later. He may be trying to avoid that. I retired 11 yrs ago, toyed with working part time but decided to open a reel repair shop. It has kept me busier at times than I wanted... it interfered with fishing and made little money, but I enjoyed it. That changed 3 months ago when I had a stroke at 74. I lost the use of my right hand, but thanks to occupational therapy, most of that is back. But the other pleasures of "The Golden Years" have made sure it's not business as usual. A herniated disc means no more standing on a trolling motor and cataracts mean driving sucks and really pretty much confined to daylight. I'm awaiting a decision on surgery, but a stroke means blood thinners and blood thinners means no Cortisone shots for your spine and maybe no cataract surgery. So calls to slow down may fall on deaf ears (huh?? that's another joy). If he still works a regular job, it may require a greater change, but like Brian says, encourage him to do things that he can for family and friends. Do not encourage him to sit home and rest. God and Mother Nature usually figure ways to make you slow down physically. Thank God I never really enjoyed mowing the lawn or raking leaves. I'm thinkin about fixin ta get ready to slow down... I love the South!

  4. #4
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    I'm about to experience this myself as my dad, a healthy 71-yo like your dad, found out just yesterday the he needs a triple bypass. Going under the knife on the 27th. He's absolutely floored right now as he's always been so active and has lots of 'things to take care of'. He's more busy and active as a retiree than he was as a working professional.

    I'm not sure how to approach it with him, as the wind has been taken out of his sails a bit in the past 24-hours. That said, 31 probably hits it most right by letting him know his value and how important it is to others to have that person around and doing well. Hopefully he'll realize that and not push his limits too soon as he's done in the past other injuries. This is different though...and not a shoulder or knee repair...it's his ticker.

    Time will tell, and the best I can do as his now only child, is to do all that I can to help him till he's back to full capacity. All the wood splitting, fence work, tractor stuff and general 'odd jobs' he somehow found to do around the property will be put on hold or fall on others.

  5. #5
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    LW. My Dad lived, worked and played VERY hard his whole life. He drank when he played, smoked 3 packs of Lucky Strikes a day, worked his way up to start his own company in 1948. He died in 1973 at the age of 64 after his 4th heart attack got him. That said, he lived the way HE wanted. I certainly was a little heartbroken that he didn't take better care of himself and live longer to see his grandchildren. I myself take a little something from him in that I work hard, play hard and pretty much do what I want. I don't plan on retiring anytime soon even though I am slowing down some. Let your Dad have his future years, but just keep him involved and surrounded by the family I know loves him. A sudden heart attack, stroke, or anything of that nature is sure to have an affect on a person in different ways. Be sure to give him my best and hope to see BOTH of you on the water soon.
    2013 Frog Only Tournament Winner
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    "Many men go fishing all of their lives without knowing that it is not fish they are after."

  6. #6
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    Same with Larry my dad the same had heart attch was told what he could couldn't eat or drink and he did try to follow it a bit. I suggested 1 time to him on what I thought about what he was doing and that was last. He told me he was a grown ass man and will do what he wants and eat what he wants, as he said if he can't do that he isn't living anyways. He passed at 67 years old but those last 15 years I just let him know how much he was loved kept family close and enjoyed his life with him. Everyones different. Hope the best for you all and you find peace with it.
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  7. #7
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    Thanks guys for all the responses. Yes I see my Dads side of things about being active( he mentioned about fellow retires passing away from inactivity) but I just want him to slow down and enjoy things more. yes I told him my thoughts and he gave me his thoughts same as Carls Dad the one thing that I get him to slow down to is watching my son play ball and motocross!! Maybe I can get my son to play something year round or wait we do that now thats why I don't fish often.LOL
    PS Mr. Martin I hope to get him back out this spring. Heck he is complaning about missing the striper bite now
    2010 VAO March Madness Overall Winner



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